Thursday, December 13, 2012

Privacy and snooping

"I remember my own teenage years," says Michelle Paddy mother of 14-year-old Susan and 12-year-old Steve. "It is so important for me is my own thoughts and ideas, and live my own life has not judged and criticized. Based privacy me very much."
/> But it seems black and white when you teen is not as easy when you are a parent of one. Paddy said he found no more understand how to handle the privacy of their own children, and partly because they have very different personalities. "Susan was very happy to turn to me and constantly evaluated me, so I do not worry much about it," he said. "But Steve far more subtle and reserved. 'S When he was younger, he got involved with some sexual play with an older child, and he did not tell me about it. Saw just because he tells Susan. So I'm more confident that he will tell me if there is anything to be worried about. "/>
a misleading question. How much privacy should parents give their teenagers and when it is appropriate to snoop a bit to make sure these things to? "In honor of a child's need for privacy, as responsible adults can be a tricky thing for parents." The Dulcie Gretton says parenting coach in Calgary. "During early adolescence, we need to keep a physical presence in the lives of our children, we know what they are doing, where and with whom we can interact with our youth." It is my responsibility, and intended to fulfill them. "" Once you understand, says Gretton, parents can negotiate with their children in the area of ​​data protection and the responsibilities that are appropriate As Paddy is found, it is different with each child, depending on age and previous track record. />
Gretton did not consider them to be set for snooping, what "checks and balances" in the name of the place. "can include such things as check their computer history, evaluating the use of cell phones or checking where is. We have these things in a spirit of caring concern, "he said not snooping, adds Gretton, because you let your child know that you are doing these things," Most of the kids secretly relieved and reassured oversight by the parent. Communicates that he loved and valued. "Paddy />
ex-husband custody of Susan and Steve agreed to share him to" check up "aspects of parenting when it comes to computer use comes." He insisted that their password , and he let them check-up, "says Paddy." too I think the parents know and can check up on him enough to Steve, remember I'm worried about -., he have to be careful online "
/> But what if the parents are concerned that a child may be to maybe think? her shoplifting or smoking a little snooping significant Is OK -.? before it has a chance to hide the evidence Gretton says no "endangered snooping trust and undermines your parenting integrity ... Communicates mistrust and lack of respect in front of what we want to model. It can make your relationship with an unhealthy game of hide and seek. Turn "

value in providing youth policy and Gretton commented that this is how young people learn to take more responsibility for and to experience the results of their decisions, he added ... " . Remember, some bad decisions should be made in such a way to look better decision support and loving boundaries and feel very different from our children mature "/>
" For me it is to hit the right balance between confidence and leadership, "says Paddy." I know Susan, particularly cares about what I think, and I try to encourage them to think for them to do what feels right for them. He needs to try a little more privacy on these options. Actually only a few years, appearing in Susan's own, and I'd expect them to make good decisions. "/>